Time to have a baby! World changed. After the sexual revolution, our first goal when we grow up and become a woman is not to be pregnant. And we find the right man, then we think it is the right time, then we want to get pregnant. And you try and try and try but nothing happens. Stressed, sad, and totally disappointed; you’ve been through all the examinations, seen all the doctors, read all the books, and listened to all the good advices.
I wished to write you about these, because I see more and more cases around me where the baby doesn’t come. I was lucky twice. I got easily pregnant. But easily means that in both cases, I never had the fear of having a baby. People know me, I am NOT an Earth-mother type. I appreciate my life, and I take my own time. I understand that we need to give birth to a baby, who will help us to grow as a person, give us lots of joy and also give us a hell of a responsibility to grow them right. But I never stress about it. Neither about my career, I know I have time. We live 80 years and there is so much to do. We will have time for anything even by age of 70. Thank God, I never had expectations around me, with our without grandchildren, I know my parents would still have a full accomplished life. So I did not have stress because I don’t believe in stress or fears, they are just fake, and you need to break them down.
So if both of you is capable of having a baby, physically everything is fine, then what is happening?
Only stress can produce this kind of symptoms which inhibit getting pregnant. Let’s look at both sides of the story.
What kinds of stress could be the cause:
- Stressing about not being a good-enough mother
- Stressing about your husband; partner might not be the right person to have a baby with
- Stressing about how your body will change, extra kilos, etc.
- Stressing about what is going to happen with your life and work
- Stressing about how everything is going to change and nothing will be the same as before
- Stressing about responsibilities
- Stressing about WANTING A BABY – there should be no "I want" for this
- Stressing about not being able to get pregnant
- Stressing about parents' and friends' expectations
- Stressing about financial capacity
- Stressing about sleepless nights
- Stressing about being a good father
- Stressing about taking responsibilities
- Stressing about not being able to make a baby
- Stressing about her wanting that baby so much, and I’m totally not sure about what do I want
- Stressing about family expectations
And many more options can come up, just to justify why you're afraid to have a child. So when doctors say you should get pregnant, it is time to sit down and face your life, and know what is holding you back.
But if you're faced with these problems, then it's better to sit down and talk this over with your partner/husband, because this is can cause a serious damage in the relationship and you can screw up your life for long a long time.
Many people would say "let’s sit together and think over the issue." But I would suggest you to do the first stage on your own. You need to know that the mental disruption, the one which is holding you or your husband back. You need to examine your life.
- Are you living in a free situation, where the baby is welcome?
- Do you overvalue your career or not?
- Do you accept that the baby will consume up your time?
- Do you have a welcoming place and your are fully comfortable about it?
It is important and worthwhile to understand the meaning of the newcomer in your life and in your family’s life.
Exaptation does not matter.
When you are able to identify from where the fear or the stress is coming from, it's time to work on it together.
First of all, it is good to find out if this stress is based on a true fear, or they are only a part of your self-defense mechanism.
Most probably, on the way of figuring out what stresses you and your partner have, you will understand it and you will let it go.
Like everything in our life happening with a reason, if the baby is not coming immediately, then there is a reason, which you will know sooner or later, and you will understand and put together the pieces of the big puzzle. Then you’ll be thankful even if it means you had a baby or not from that man or from another.
Let it go from your heart. When the time comes, you will get pregnant. Making love without a must, with your partner having no fear of adequacy, just simply enjoy life and the baby will come for sure, because you have opened a secret door of release and that makes you free. Forget about tests, timing, books, magazines, doctors, pressure from family and friends - just do what you feel and trust your basic instinct.
Try and see the proof…