Nowadays families have to face so many questions about this subject. Who is going to do what? How can we share? When can we do it?
The basic situation has been changed in past years.
Mothers don’t necessary stay at home after the kids are born; most of the time, they go back to work as soon as possible. That could be because of financial reasons, but also the way of thinking that women also need their own life.
I believe if you and your partner made the decision that you are going back to work, it is time to share not just your incomes but also the common tasks at home.
So, let’s see what we can do to make our life easier at home, especially if we can share works around the house. Sometimes all this happens smoothly without any agreement, but my experience is that in many cases, man needs to be informed that they have to take their share.
The heart and the soul of the family are the women.
A woman keeps the family together. Women set the fire and guard the fire. And everything is all right with this, if she is at home all day… and the day comes when the decision is made. Time to get back to work.
Here I emphasize every single mother to take a part-time job or a freelance work, a work that you can do from home, or even some entrepreneurial work. But obviously, it is not so easy to find a job with the dream schedule. And today, it even happens that the woman is the one who works longer hours or brings more money in. There is nothing necessarily wrong with that, the only thing that needs to be taught to men is to cooperate at home.
And you know who will teach that to the man? You!
So how to coordinate family and working place:
- Be on the same page. In many families, the woman goes back to work, but it has been never something agreed upon. So it is important that the man understands why it is good for her, for him, or for the family. Later he will be more happy to share tasks.
- Prioritization – before we try to find solutions, let’s think of what we’ll do. When we don’t have time for a cup of coffee, we surely won’t have time to think anything over. For that, you need to decide what things are important, what aren’t, or what can wait. We have to take time and decide this. And we have to share this with our partner.
- Think about the housework and family management questions:
- What kind of housework do we have, how often do we need to do them?
- What are the kids’ afternoon activities to share?
- How do we cook or manage nutrition?
- Can we get outside help, and does it fit our budget?
- Share the responsibility – in the past 20 years, the numbers of those man who are helping the housekeeping and rearing children at home have significantly increased. Nevertheless, the employee mothers are still spending more time with housework, than the fathers. This does not necessarily mean that the fathers are lazy or useless. Many women simply need to be aware of the fact that men are able to do housekeeping. They don’t want to ask them or share the tasks with them because they think that man can’t do it, or even if they try, it won’t be as perfect as how women do it. Many woman look at them with a critical eye, they think only women have an experience with cleaning or cooking. Therefore, men are taking back, they won’t get involved, and because they are afraid, they do something wrong or not the perfect way. It’s important to share housekeeping wisely. Is it good for both of us, or do we need to change? How can we share fairly? You have to find the answers together and both parties need to change if necessary.
- If you need the man to help you, give up your perfectionism. Enjoy that he is helping and just relax. Home is not your work, where you have to be 100% perfect. Here you can leave the socks on the floor and the dinner need not be perfect. What’s most important is that you would still have energy in the evening to enjoy time with your kids and with your partner. So leave the dishes in the sink, it can wait. And ask your husband to do it if you would need a warm bath.
Finally, it’s all about communication, and trying new things like making a timetable for every week for the whole family where everybody can see what the tasks for the week are. You can rid yourself of many quarrels. And let them do the tasks, don’t criticized them.
Or hire a lovely housekeeper :)