The Basics of Self-esteem
Who am I?
Many of us did not even realize how important self-esteem is for us, how each moment determines our lives. Who am I? What does self-esteem mean to me? Is that really important, or would it be selfish to have self-esteem?
The Concept of Self-esteem
We do have opinions about life, even about others’, but what’s most important is what our opinion is about ourselves.
Self-esteem is a specific experience about ourselves, not just simply a feeling, but also an Activity, a kind of willingness to experience life, the world, and the so-called “reality”.
Self-esteem is a willingness to experience our personality, to collect experiences about ourselves, like a human being who’s worthy of happiness. It’s the acceptance that success, completion, and happiness are good and natural for each of us.
Not many of us was born with a naturally good or high Self-esteem. Every single person has to develop and fight for this feeling. And you have to do that. Why? Because we need these for our everyday life. We have to trust ourselves. That is basic.
It’s the basis for all good and happy that can happen to us.
Awareness is voluntary, we decide how we want control our life. And for that, we need self-esteem.
The configuration of self-esteem is:
- Living consciously
- Accepting yourself
- Taking responsibility for yourself and for the things you did or you will do
- Being self confident
- Living purposefully
- Living decently
To practice these points is the indispensable condition to gain self-esteem; to respect the fact that there is a reality, an existence. As you can see, self-esteem is not a present from nature, we must educate it in ourselves; we have to work for it.
It’s not enough to simply look at the mirror and say ”Good morning, I am perfect!” It’s also not enough to get praises all day long, and if we get material wealth. Also, we can’t have it through hypnosis, but the “moment of awakening“ is when we realize we can’t get self-esteem from others. This is something we have to develop for ourselves, and nobody else.
Lack of self-esteem
Similarly to other psychological problems, it’s a sign of a deeper problem, which is going to go deeper if we don’t handle it with care and attention. It won’t go away just like that, it won’t prepare its self. The healthy self-image, the self-esteem, and the self-confidence are the way to personal success. Without these, your happiness and your personal goals are unreachable.
Let’s see the signs of lacking self-esteem
- Accusations – when we accuse others for our personal problems. When it’s painful or simply not possible to sa: “It was my on wrong decision,” or when we don’t take responsibility for our actions.
- Inability to love one’s self and others – when we are not able to view ourselves in a positive way and criticizing ourselves. Typically, we permanently criticize others. This could mean that we lack self-esteem.
- “If I don’t like myself, why do you love me?” If somebody has a low self-esteem, that person keeps asking himself why the other person is loving him. And the result: he will be left alone.
- Reclusive behavior – minimal communication, because of fear of showing himself, and keeps analyzing where he was wrong and what he had done or said wrong.
- Addictions – whatever we do, the goal is to have fun! But with the low self-esteem, people just simply can’t feel good at all. Suffering from those depressing things around him, and wanting to chase those things away.
I would say self-esteem is a basic element to live a full and successful life.
The first step is always to identify our deficiency, then having that internal motivation to take further steps. That is freedom.