What overwhelm means? It really could be too much? Too much love does exist? Or we are talking about when overwhelm is a substitute for love? I mean when we buy things just because we feel like we are not giving enough attention or not able to give love enough.
Where is the line between real love and spoiling?
The only way to the child heart is the love, but if we interpreted incorrectly, that can make a serious damage
Almost every parents want to give the best to their child. Parents are so proud for their kids, they like their intellect, their outlook, but if we don’t call an attention we can easily subordinate our own principles to the child will.
Very important how to express love, and don’t mix this with spoiling. But what is the background?
Here is a few reason why parents spoiling their kids
- Parents surrenders to the kids will, only because they want love return
- Parents overlook the flaws of their child like their educational deficiency because it's easier and less complicated, compared to if they scold them or discipline them – since it's easier to avoid conflict, many parents therefore do not discipline, saving time and fatigue
- Parents are indefinite and inconsistent; maybe subordinate type, therefore permissive. Some people does not assume the control, because they used to that fact others are decide instead of them, but when the child feel this, they know there is no control, no rules, no advice and they starting to control their environment.
- Parents let the children’s urging, because they want to humor, or they thing they can close it quicker.
- Don’t want or not able to care about the child
- An average mistake, when parents are praise the child outlook, cleverness, good abilities, which is only increases the child’s vanity. But better to praise those attributions what they can develop itself, like: diligence, helpfulness, trustworthiness and honesty.
The consequences of spoiling
The initially sweet kids are starting to loose their childish kindness. As a result of spoiling they become a disobedient little tyrant and they want to control everybody. And if we abandon the child with his will they become out of control and disrespectful. More spoiling, less control. Parents give everything what the child want and the child does not have to except anything what is uncomfortable for them. Parents think this is a good solution, but only from those facts, they got everything, make them even worried, because they want more and more, and finally there is nothing can satisfied them.
And don’t forget that the spoiled child definitely will have difficulties in a real world. When they will leave the sweet home, they will realize the world in not turning that way how they thought. They will try to put across their will, but they will be very frustrated when that just could not happen. They will have many conflicts and they will feel themselves unhappy and unfortunate.
When do we say no?
If the parents condone the child shortcomings, only strengthen them. Which parents want to make his child sad with rejection? But better to think it through what is better for the child in long term. Parents can cause bigger damage if they satisfying the kids every wish.
The poorly educated children will carry a heavy burden for a lifetime. Their life will be full of disappointments. But if the parents can handle this on time, and they can try to be strict, they can save the child from future problems. Because the child will learn to resign from his wishes, and will learn to be considered for others. Parents can choose the less worst if they undertake the unpopular marker on time, when is not too late.
But is very important what is the parents view in this case and where are they coming from.
Every adult wants to give the best for their kids, but what is the best?
The best what they can. There is no too good parents, only a good is enough.